We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.