I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
