I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize