I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.