Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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