You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
