i barfeds in our rink
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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