how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
