Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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