Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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