dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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