STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
