My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
