There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
