i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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