What did we do last night that was yellow?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
