She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
