She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
