I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize