the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
