I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
