No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize