sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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