Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
