(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
