First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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