On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
