I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize