I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize