bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize