But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
