i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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