Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
