Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
