my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
how does that bad decision feel?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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