that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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