She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
