it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
