im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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