Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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