so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
