I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
