did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
