brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
