only if we run a train.
done.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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