What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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