i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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