we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
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get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
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He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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