I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
