Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
