it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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