What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
