epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
