escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
