Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize