I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
