i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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