so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
