Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
