Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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