Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize