oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize