mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize