I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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