I want to make a zoo with you.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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