Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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