Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize