it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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