i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
