I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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